May 3, 2005
This ain’t baseball, one strike is enough
Looks like little miss runaway bride has come back. And in a show of support, stupidity, and masochism, her fiancee still wants to get married:
John Mason is defending his fiancee’s decision, and says he still wants to walk down the aisle with her. The guilt she is dealing with “has got to be consequence enough to me,” Mason said Monday in an interview with Fox News’ “Hannity & Colmes” show.
…
Mason said he has given Wilbanks her ring back — she had left it at the house — and said they still planned to marry. She was wearing the engagement ring during questioning Monday, authorities said.
“Just because we haven’t walked down the aisle, just because we haven’t stood in front of 500 people and said our I Do’s, my commitment before God to her was the day I bought that ring and put it on her finger, and I’m not backing down from that,” Mason said.
Some say that love conquers all. Some also say that neurotic women, who have run from two weddings (so far), have mental problems that mean marriage is a bad idea.
One of my (undisclosed) rules while engaged was that if my wife had ever called off the wedding or given back the ring, that was it. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, I’m right out the door. I’m tremendously thankful I was never in the position where I had to make that choice. But I’ve seen it happen to others.
Currently three of my close friends, all within a year of my age (26), are in the middle of divorce proceedings. Across all three, one common thread was at some point during the engagement, the wedding was called off or the ring returned. So my advice to anyone who is getting engaged, or is currently engaged, watch out. Someone who does it once is emotionally unstable enough to be a bad risk for your future. With all the rampant divorce in our culture, and the seemingly cavalier attitude people take towards marriage today, there are enough stresses in a young couple’s life. Knowing that someone is willing to discard it when it’s just too tough is more stress than you need.
Hat Tip: Wizbang
Pole Dancing In The Dark linked with Runaway Bride
Number 2 Pencil linked with Making a run for it
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Making a run for it
My fellow Bridezillas and I have been cackling over the Runaway Bride newstory. Myself, I think anyone insane enough to plan a wedding with 14 bridesmaid should be committed on the spot (and I believe the Manolo agrees with me),…
“I will never take her back,
If she were crawling on her knees,
I’d slam the door and let the hellcat freeze,
But…
I’m so used to hear her say…
I’ve grown accustomed to her face…
of something in the air…†( My Fair Lady)
Love has a funny way of making liars of us all. There is no way of making a generalized statement of how to “work through†a mess like the “runaway brideâ€. All the same it would make things rather difficult.
“Where the devil are my slippers?â€
As one who has walked away from an engagement once, I think what you just said is completely unfair. Not all women that take time to decide whether or not they are doing the right thing are “unstable.” Maybe realizing that I was going into it with the wrong attitude the first time (“If this doesn’t work I can always get a divorceâ€) and taking the time to assess that this was something I really wanted and needed “till death do us part.†I’m just glad that the man I was marrying was far more understanding.
However, the way she handled it was completely wrong. To travel across the country and not tell anyone where you are or why you left is irresponsible. I do hope the town does bill her for the expenses incurred for her search.
Ethne,
You don’t need to answer if this is too personal, but what were the reasons and the manner in which this occurred? Was it something that was a rational thought-out decision? I.e. you told your hubby-to-be that you had said yes before truly being ready to make that decision, and wanted to continue the relationship and look at it again at a future time?
The one thread that also comes across those three events I mentioned is that the women were using the threat of breaking the engagement as leverage to obtain concessions, or done out of anger to get an emotional response and hurt the men involved.
Under circumstances where I thought such a move was done in that sort of emotional mindframe, I wouldn’t hesitate to walk. Likewise, if it was conditions such as occurred with this runaway bride, I’d walk. But if it were a choice made for reasons such as I outlined above, I would handle the entire situation differently. I realize that didn’t come across in my post, but it is purely because I didn’t even think of the good reasons why calling off an engagement could be reasonable. It would, of course, make me more cautious about the whole thing, but not necessarily send me packing.
Runaway Bride
This is a long one, so you might want to grab a drink, go to the bathroom, get some food, whatever. Linda and her wonderful husband Shawn know most of this all ready, so you guys should just pass on…
I agree with Brad. Couples that breakup during their engagement are doomed. I also think that guys that ask thier girlfriends to marry them without a ring are also doomed. It’s a sign. A bad sign. A sign that includes a lack of planning and committment. I am at that age where all of my friends are married or getting married and some getting divorced and I’ve noticed the same pattern as Brad among my friends where the marriage didn’t work out.
Now after saying that… Where’s my husband???