July 2, 2005
Egg on face
Okay, so I didn’t want to see War of the Worlds. In fact, I blogged about how I didn’t want to see it. I mentioned that I planned on skipping it. And since I hadn’t been to the theater to see a movie since 2004, I really didn’t think I’d see it. So boy, do I have some egg on my face now!
As they say, “When in Rome”. Loosely translated, that means that when in North Carolina hanging out with many friends who want to see the movie, it’s best to go along.
So as long as I wasted that two hours of my life, how about a review?
First, the pros. The special effects were pretty damn cool. And Dakota Fanning’s acting was superb. That little girl is talented. Here ends the list of good things about this movie.
On to the bad. The plot had holes big enough to drive a truck through. As I mentioned last week, who believes that a race capable of traversing space and decisively conquering Earth hasn’t thought about germs? Further, this version adds a twist that the Martian “tripods”, which are the mechanical devices killing everything in sight, have been buried for thousands of years, long before people showed up on Earth. Which brings up the inevitable question, “Why the hell didn’t they conquer earth when they buried these ships?” I mean, bloodlust is one thing, but it would be much easier to conquer an uninhabited planet if you’re already there, no?
Continuing with the bad, Tom Cruise proceeded to “act” like a self-interested, egotistical, annoying fool. That’s about as easy as typecasting Keanu Reeves as someone who doesn’t know what’s going on. He got better later in the movie, but the whole role laid out for him was wooden. He plays a character who is an absentee father who when his wife drops off the kids for a weekend, cares nothing for them and finds them to be a bother, not a joy. As he fights for his and their lives, of course, he comes to love them as his own (which, by the way, THEY ARE). Following in the acting theme, Tim Robbins had a fairly small part. Which he pretty well blew. While I can’t stand his politics, I’ve also long thought that he’s an incredibly talented actor. It didn’t come through in this part. Again, it’s bad writing, more than anything, he simply had nothing to work with. And, of course, Robbins had to throw in his anti-Bush line, something to the effect of “History has shown that occupations never succeed”, talking of a Martian “occupation” of the world.
All in all, a waste of my two hours. I can say it was about equal to my expectations, but those were fairly low. If you like special effects and can do without acting, plot, realistic characters and a storyline, this movie might be for you. If you demand a little more, this is nothing than an average alien invasion movie with above-average effects, and not worth your time.
But if you really want something to read, check out Iowahawk’s War of the Worlds: The Lost Version. It’s a satire on the original radio play, with such gems as:
CARL PHILLIPS
Ow! I’m sorry Professor Pierson, I was just reaching for the microphone control and I guess my hand slipped. Professor, as we look out and see the Martian mechano-men smashing and blowing up the countryside, I think all America wants to know: why do they hate us?PROF. PIERSON
That’s a very good question Mr. Phillips, and I’m sure the mechano-men have a number of good reasons. Maybe it is our militarism, our alignment with their Venusian oppressors, or it could be the luxurious liqui-cushioned ride of our Kokomo Mogul 8s. Whatever their reasons, it is important that we get beyond the violence and begin a dialog with the mechano-men –
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I was drug to the movie a few days ago as well. My sentiments pretty much echo yours…the special effects were damn good, especially the heat ray/disappearing people effects. The acting was godawful, the writing even worse, and so many different plot holes. As I told my dad after the movie, you had to suspend reality to be able to enjoy this movie at all. Why did they wait thousands of years? Why didn’t they conquer germs? Why didn’t we use nukes? (Contrary to Independence Day, I don’t think there’s a forcefield made in the universe that can stand up the force of a direct hit from a thermonuclear weapon.) Why didn’t we recruit a kamikaze corps to do what Tom’s character did to take down the machine he was trapped in?
But at least we got to see one Martian taken down by humans…albeit a Martian that was incapacitated by the common cold and that couldn’t fight back.
Speaking of that, kudos at least to Spielberg for using real soldiers from the 10th Mountain for all the scenes involving the military. Its not everyday you get to tell your kids you got to help take down a Martian tripod with a Javelin.
Well, you have convinced me not to go. Not that I would have any way.