May 30, 2006
Quick-Hit Snarkiness
Radio station bans James Blunt songs
A radio station said it has banned songs by James Blunt from its airwaves after listeners said they were fed up with hearing “You’re Beautiful” and “Goodbye My Lover”.
Chris Cotton, programme controller of local radio Essex FM in southern England, said: “We don’t have anything against James Blunt and we’re pleased he has been so successful, but we really need a break.”
Don’t stop there! I’ve got a list:
Daniel Powter: Bad Day
Kelly Clarkson: Walk Away
Natasha Bedingfield: Unwritten
Pussycat Dolls: Stickwitu
That’s a good start. And although I really like that KT Tunstall song, Black Horse, if I hear it for more than three more days, I’m going postal…
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Study: global warming boosts poison ivy
Another reason to worry about global warming: more and itchier poison ivy. The noxious vine grows faster and bigger as carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere rise, researchers report Monday.
And a CO2-driven vine also produces more of its rash-causing chemical, urushiol, conclude experiments conducted in a forest at Duke University where scientists increased carbon-dioxide levels to those expected in 2050.
Observation 1: (Poison Ivy), like all plants, needs (Carbon Dioxide) to grow
Observation 2: If there is more (Carbon Dioxide), (Poison Ivy) will grow faster
Replace “Poison Ivy” with “Brad”, and “Carbon Dioxide” with “Wendy’s Hamburgers”, and you might get an explanation for why I’ve been growing extremely quickly too!
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Woman Hit By Lightning While Praying
Worried about the safety of her family during a stormy Memorial Day trip to the beach, Clara Jean Brown stood in her kitchen and prayed for their safe return as a strong thunderstorm rumbled through Baldwin County, Alabama.
But while she prayed, lightning suddenly exploded, blowing through the linoleum and leaving a blackened area on the concrete. Brown wound up on the floor, dazed and disoriented by the blast but otherwise uninjured.
She said ‘Amen’ and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire. The 65-year-old Brown said she is blessed to be alive.
Wikipedia: Irony of Fate…
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Naked on Everest: a peek on the peak?
The head of the Nepal Mountaineering Association urged the government Saturday to take action against a sherpa who reportedly stripped on top of Mount Everest.
The Himalayan Times had reported Friday that the Nepali climbing guide, whose name it gave as Lakpa Tharke, stood naked for three minutes in freezing conditions on the 29,035-foot summit of the world’s highest peak.
If confirmed, he would be the first person known to have stripped atop Everest, considered by Nepali Buddhists as a god.
All he needed was a woman around, and he could have joined the 5.5 mile high club!
“We are planning to file his extraordinary feat for the Guinness Book of World Records,” the paper quoted an official of the hiking group that employs Tharke as saying.
Uhh, a “feat” would be if he climbed it naked, NOT climbing it and then getting naked for 3 minutes. As it is, it’s funny. Trying to put it in the Guinness book is just showboating.
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Dan Aykroyd takes UFOs out for a spin
Dan Aykroyd has a new video on the market, but the ex-conehead and one-time ghost-buster says he’s not the star. The UFOs are.
And where does Aykroyd get his credibility? Personal experience, of course!
Aykroyd said he has had two personal encounters with the unknown.
One occurred on Martha’s Vineyard, he said, where he sighted “high altitude, glowing magnesium discs travelling at 20,000 miles (32,190 km) an hour at 100,000 feet (30,480 metres). … wing to wing, edge to edge.”
Four people with him saw the same thing, he said, and while one expert later told him it was probably a meteor formation of some sort “I believe they were visiting the earth, passing by on the way to somewhere else.”
“The second was a telepathic experience,” he said, which happened at a lake retreat in Canada.
“I was asleep with my wife and I woke up about 3 a.m. wanting to go outside into a field and look at the sky,” he said, telling his wife, “They want me to see. They want me to see.” She told him to forget it.
The next morning, he said, newspapers and radio reports from across the region were filled with eyewitness accounts from some of the estimated 12,000 people who saw a pink spiral in the sky.
The military later said it was a Chinese rocket, Aykroyd said, but he believes he was being summoned and regrets ignoring the call.
Ahh, who was it was summoning him? Dionne Warwick? And how could you tell from 100,000 feet away that those discs were made of magnesium, or that they were at an altitude of 100,000 ft, or that they were traveling 20,000 mph?
Why couldn’t Aykroyd stick to moonbat politics, like the rest of the hollywood types? Making fun of him for this leaves me with a small pang of guilt, as he doesn’t realize I’m laughing at him, not with him.
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that is pretty funny about Aykroyd. What a goofball. Presumably just trying to squeeze one more crappy sitcom/movie out of his career?
Based on the four artists you added to the James Blunt list, what the hell kind of crappy radio stations are you listening to?
Unrelated story -
There was just an ad on during the NBA game (yes, people, there still is an NBA, even though I am the only one that still watches)…it was an ad for AXE cologne featuring Nick Lachey. Pretty funny, actually. Anyway….has anyone gotten more mileage out of nothing? Here is a start:
-Paris Hilton
-Keanu Reeves
-Paula Abdul
Really, Keanu Reeves is still getting work? Some terrible movie called “The Lake House”. I played a tree in a second grade play, and had a better chance of getting an Oscar than KR ever has of getting anything other than the flu.
More often than not, when I’m not listening to talk radio, it’s Flight 26 on XM… I’m rarely listening to it actively, but it makes decent background noise.
As for the most worthless of the above, I have to go with Paris Hilton. Keanu has an uncanny knack for playing characters where he has no clue what’s going on (i.e. the first Matrix movie), so I’m sure there’s a niche for that. Paula Abdul is as valuable to the world as any pop diva (i.e. not much, but she at least has some singing/dancing talent). Paris, though, is just a rich girl whose only talent is being a rich girl.
Two words: Sherpa “shrinkage”.
Apparently, Aykroyd didn’t get the warning about not crossing the streams.