August 13, 2006
Call It A Learning Experience
Well, I just brewed my first all-grain batch of beer. Called the “Victorious Boilermaker IPA” due both to my use of 0.5 lb of Victory malt, and the fact it is brewed for a Purdue/Notre Dame viewing party, it was going to be a hop-bomb of an IPA. Overall, things seemed to go alright, but for one thing. I didn’t really hit anywhere near my target numbers. I expected that I’d produce a beer roughly in the 8% range. I’ll be fairly lucky to hit 6%. Normally, as long as it tastes alright, I wouldn’t be too worried about the alcohol content, but I figured a hop profile and bitterness based upon the higher content. I’m a little worried that this will be quite unbalanced. My calculations have it as a little over 110 IBU’s. This is even bitter for an 8% beer, but at 6%, it’s going to cause some puckering. We’ll see how it turns out.
On the bright side, I’ve started drinking the High Sierra Pale Ale. I’m a little worried I’m going to drink it all before my wife’s friends come to visit. The stuff is incredible. It is by far my best batch yet. It’s got a nice floral hop aroma up front, due to the Cascade hops, and moderate bitterness well balanced with malty caramel sweetness. All this perfectly masking the 6% ABV. Everyone who has tasted it so far think it’s great, including my neighbor who thinks it tastes exactly like Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
Added To The ‘Roll
I just added Scott Stein to the blogroll. He appears to be a professor of some sort, and is quite a funny guy. In fact, he’s actually going to be teaching a course about funny writing, and He’s looking for help:
Cake aside, I would welcome suggestions about what to include on the reading list. Feel free to comment on this blog entry with as many suggestions as you have of funny poems, stories, novels, sites, essays or essay collections, anything that might fit what I describe above. Any kind of humor could work for the course, from the most sophisticated, meaningful satire to the silliest just-for-laughs comedy sketch. No choice is too obvious. After all, somehow I never got around to reading P.G. Wodehouse until this year.
Feel free to head over and take a look.
If you want to see what makes him so funny, he’s got his most recent post about the Jewish Circumcision Conspiracy:
I would like to propose the Circumcision Jewish Conspiracy Theory to account for their disproportionate representation in medicine and law and their achievements in business. It’s simple, really. Circumcision leads to decreased enjoyment of sex, though not decreased enough to prevent the propagation of the genetic lines of those circumcised. But it does decrease sexual pleasure just enough to allow men to focus on something other than getting laid, at least part of the time. Its effect is probably most pronounced in the hormone-saturated teen years, which explains why Jews excel in school in comparison to their circumcision-deprived peers, and why so many end up going to medical school. Achievement during these years has lifelong ramifications. Over the generations this slight edge in ability to think of something other than sex has been the cause of the Jewish cultural valuing of education and the achievements of the Jews as a people, a slow, cumulative consequence of thousands of years of cut penises and slightly decreased sexual pleasure.
Sounds plausible.
August 11, 2006
Banana Peels
Have you ever seen someone slip and fall on a banana peel? I haven’t. I’ve never even heard of anyone doing it.
Yet on cartoons and slapstick TV shows, slipping on a banana peel is a classic gag. Where did this come from? Maybe it’s true that banana peels are incredibly slippery, but if nobody is actually falling down on them, why do we continue laughing?
I realize, much like reading books, nobody really eats bananas any more. We’re in a world of banana-infused, mango-flavored smoothies that cost $7. And if they did eat bananas, government would probably require a helmet in case they slip. But c’mon, TV writers, think of some new damn material!
August 10, 2006
You Shouldn’t vs. You Can’t
Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.
-Henry David Thoreau
Now, I know a revelation like this might shock some of my readers, but one of my biggest pet peeves is being told what I can’t do. If our federal government ever passes a Constitutional amendment declaring flag-burning to be a crime, that’s about the time I might consider burning a flag— something I would NEVER do otherwise. Perhaps I’m just stuck in an 8-year-olds mentality, but once you tell me something is forbidden, I want to do it. I think I’m just the type of person who decides things for myself, and when someone tries to artificially limit my options, I get angry.
It’s not that I want to do bad things. In fact, I do my best to ensure that I don’t do bad things. But I’m quite quick to do illegal things if I can. My wife is the social director of our neighborhood association, so we regularly have to pass out flyers. The easiest way to do this is to put those flyers directly into a mailbox, but this is a violation of federal law. I violate that with a grin on my face. Really, if you get a chance to blatantly violate a stupid federal law, why pass that up? I still don’t understand the reasoning that I have to purchase and maintain my mailbox, but it’s the US Postal Service’s property.
It’s not even that all governmental laws are bad. For example, the fact that government tells you to wear a helmet on a motorcycle is damned good advice. If they issued a resolution that said that you SHOULD wear a helmet, I see no problem with that. Or when the USDA tells you what they believe to be the consensus opinion on proper dietary habits, that’s not so bad. But when government tells you that you MUST wear a helmet, you get people like me who have a temptation to defy you simply to assert our independence. I’m personally not one to act stupidly and not wear a helmet just as a matter of asserting independence, but quite a few do. What do we do when they institute a “fast food tax”. Is it that far behind, with America’s obesity “epidemic”?
It’s not just government. I’m one of those folks who has a problem knowing where my proper consumption limit is when I’m drinking with friends. It’s a bad personality issue, to be sure, and something I try hard to control. But the other night, I was far from over the line when my wife told me “that’s your last one”. Immediately in my brain I said “the hell it is!” and started getting angry. Had my wife said something like “Brad, you’re getting a little bit too drunk, you might want to watch it”, it would have made me much more likely to accept her opinion and really slow down. (FYI, in all honesty, there was no point where I truly got beyond my limit that night). I respond much better to suggestion than coercion.
It’s not that I dislike authority. It’s not even that I always know what’s best for myself. It’s just that I absolutely detest outsourcing the decisions of my life to someone else. If you have an opinion, by all means, tell me about it. I’m not going to guarantee that I’ll take your advice, but I’ll listen. But if you’re planning on telling me what I can and cannot do, your efforts will be for naught. The fastest way to make me stop listening, or to make me do the opposite to defy you, is to try to make my decisions for me.
Below The Beltway linked with To Hell With Authority
No Liquid in Carryon
U.S. air threat level raised to red
In light of British police breaking an airline bombing plot, U.S. officials Thursday raised the threat level for air transport to the highest, code red.
The Transportation Security Administration said in a statement passengers on all domestic and international flights would be banned from transporting any type of liquid or gel in their carry-on luggage. The ban applies to all types of beverages, shampoo, toothpaste, hair gels and other items of a similar consistency, the TSA announced.
Britain imposed similar bans with the exception of baby formula, which the traveler would have to prove safe by drinking some.
The move came after Scotland Yard announced the arrests of 21 people in London and Birmingham late Wednesday. They said intelligence indicated they were involved in a plot to simultaneously down as many as 10 U.S.-carrier flights from Britain to the United States using explosive liquids in carry-on baggage.
For any friends, relatives, and coworkers who were looking forward to me bringing homebrew the next time I come to visit? Sorry, not going to happen. I almost never take checked baggage, and don’t trust the TSA employees not to steal it anyway if I did. The last thing I need to see is some TSA lackey getting all messed up on my painstakingly-crafted homebrew.
Is it just me, or is this a little bit of an overreaction?
I did like this comment over at beeradvocate.com:
Toothpase: $3.50
Hair Gel: $8.50
Bottle of Stone Double Bastard: $7The gov./airlines thinking I can MacGyver a bomb out of these 3…priceless!
Frankenbeer is Finito
And I didn’t have to drainpour it. I was trying to finish the keg last night, but didn’t quite make it. I got darn close, though, since the first pint I tried to pull tonight started spitting foam. My first homebrew keg has come and gone. The keg has floated: long live the keg!
I had a batch ready to go into the empty keg, after cleaning and sanitizing the system, of course! My High Sierra Pale Ale (a modified clone of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale) is now cooling and carbonating. Unlike the Frankenbeer, it smells, looks and tastes exactly how it’s supposed to. When the folks from Chico, CA (home of Sierra Nevada) come to town next week to celebrate the wife’s 30th birthday, I’ll have a taste of home ready for them.
I’ve got two other batches in fermentation, but these are strong beers that will need to age for winter consumption. One is a clone of Stone Brewing Company’s Vertical Epic Ale 06.06.06, ready to be bottled this weekend. This will be a Belgian Strong Dark, but probably a lot better than the Frankenbeer ever was. The other is the Big Black Imperial Stout, a full-bodied hoppy stout that will probably finish about 10% ABV.
This weekend, I’m making my first foray into all-grain brewing, where instead of using malt extract, I will be mashing the grain myself. This will give me a little more control over the process, and the end result will be the Boilermaker Bitter Imperial IPA. This will be brewed for consumption on Sept 30th, when I’ll have several fellow Purdue fans coming over to watch my beloved Boilermakers try to take down the Notre Dame F***ing Irish.
August 9, 2006
Netroots – Don’t Count Your Chickens
The whole “netroots” crowd is patting themselves on the back for taking down Joe Lieberman. But are they getting ahead of themselves?
I think they may have bitten off more than they can chew. Winning the Connecticut primary shows that they’ve got some power, but they took aim at a big fish in a small pond. Connecticut is a state where you declare a party at registration, and a very large number if people are registered as Independent. Thus, only registered Democrats can vote in the Democratic primary, meaning it’s even more partisan than most states. And the small population makes it a lot easier to effect a change. It’s a veritable “perfect storm” of primary upset, where a far-left candidate can unseat a moderate-left candidate. But they left Lieberman with a leg to stand on. He had enough time to plan to get himself on the ballot as an Independent. While they’ve won the first salvo, I think they’re in serious danger of losing the campaign.
There’s a big reason you see Democrats urging Lieberman not to run as an independent. He’ll beat them in November. So they keep asking him to “respect the will of the people” and drop out of the race. But as I saw Lieberman point out on PBS today, only about 15% of Connecticut registered voters took part in the Democratic primary. And barely less than 50% of those 15% voted for him. So he’s supposed to assume that because a very small majority of a tiny minority of the population picked Lamont over him, that means the rest of Connecticut voters won’t prefer him in the general election?
The “netroots” crowd are in a tough spot. Unless they convince Lieberman not to run, they have to beat him in November to count this as a victory. If they beat him in November, they’ve proven that the tide has turned against the Iraq war amongst the general public. But if they don’t beat him in November, they’ve only proven that the Democratic party has marginalized themselves by heading farther left, and they’ll look foolish. If Lieberman doesn’t run, Lamont will win, and while that’s not (IMHO) a real victory, it will be seen as such.
It will be an interesting couple of months. Lieberman isn’t going anywhere, and there’s a good chance he’ll beat Lamont and the Republican challenger. The “netroots” crowd, if they want validation, is going to have to put serious money into the Lamont campaign, possibly to the point of attacking Lieberman, the man who they supported only 6 years ago to become Vice President. And the Republicans can either walk away from their own candidate, ensuring a Lieberman victory, or put serious money behind him, hoping to capitalize on Lieberman and Lamont splitting the Democrat vote.
Either way, the only way for the “netroots” crowd to win is if Lamont beats Lieberman and the Republican. I think that’s pretty unlikely.
I’d Call This His Final Chapter
Former Ohio State star Clarett arrested
Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett was arrested early Wednesday morning after he led police on a high-speed chase in his sports utility vehicle.
According to Sgt. Michael Woods of the Columbus Police Department, Clarett made an illegal U-turn on a city street and failed to stop when officers attempted to pull him over.
Police then pursued Clarett onto Interstate 70, and he was finally stopped after driving over a spike strip that officers placed on the highway.
The incident ended after police subdued the former star with Mace. Officers tried to take Clarett into custody with taser but it was rendered ineffective because Clarett was wearing a bullet-proof vest.
The former Denver Broncos draft choice was in possession of four loaded guns — three handguns and an assault rifle — and an open bottle of vodka.
High speed chase. Four loaded weapons (while wearing a bulletproof vest). Drinking and driving. Resisting arrest to the point where a taser and mace were required to bring him in. Yikes!
For those of you who don’t remember, several years ago Maurice Clarett was a star. We’re not talking an average NCAA Div I-A back, or even an average back at an elite program. He was a star at an elite football school, and was making huge waves as a freshman. If he had played his cards right, he would be playing in the NFL right now.
It’s a shame to see what happened. While I know most Michigan fans would like to claim this is an indictment of Ohio State, I’m not going to go there. Every program has this happen sometimes (including Purdue), and sometimes there’s not a lot you can do about it. Clarett was just a bad kid, and that was bound to catch up with him sometime. I just didn’t realize it was going to catch up with him in a BIG way.
Below The Beltway linked with Oops He Did It Again
August 8, 2006
Time To Get Into Shape
I’ve been battling back and forth about how to best get into better shape. I’m not a fat man, as my frame could easily carry my 250 lb heft, if it were all muscle. But with my current muscle tone, I should probably be in the 220-lb range. So I know I need to do something, and I’m not 100% sure what the best route may be.
I’ve been considering getting back into martial arts (which I did for about 6 years before college). That will help both strength and flexibility, as well as balance. Plus, I know my technique has dropped off in the 10 years since I studied, and it’s always good just for a personal safety aspect to keep sharp. But I haven’t really found a dojo around here that I really like, and since my wife is currently between jobs, the $100+ per month isn’t feasible. I’ve considered joining a gym, but I’m not very good at willpower. I can see myself going regularly for about a month, and then dropping off. Plus, so much of what I would do at the gym doesn’t appeal to me, because when I do cardio, I want an actual destination.
But I think I’ve found it. I can couple my desire to get into shape, my light budget, and my love of beer into the perfect exercise: Hashing!
At one of our fine hashes, which generally meet each Saturday at 1:30PM, you can expect to find a somewhat challenging cross-country trail, which will be marked in biodegradable flour – you know, the stuff Grandma uses to make cookies. You follow this fine trail through all sorts of slop, muck and prickly-briar-filled bushes for four to five miles until you get to the end.
Why, you might ask, would anyone do this?
Simple Answer – BEER. The Complicated Answer – More beer! (We like beer, the people who make beer, and the people who like to drink beer.)
Yep. Hang out with fellow nuts like me, get some exercise, make new friends, and then drink beer. How can I go wrong?
UPDATE: YouTube Rules…
Carnival of Liberty LVII…
…or “Matt’s obsession with Fiona Apple, part I”
Check it out over at the Socratic Rhythm Method.
Matt likes to present themes with the Carnival, and this week is a Fiona Apple theme. Each post is preceded by lyrics from a Fiona song, including a link to the actual song, which can be played. Very interesting. I’m sure Matt and his therapist have some things to discuss about Fiona Apple, but for the rest of us, it’s an excellent Carnival presentation.
August 7, 2006
My Cubicle
Got this from a coworker… I think considering that he works from home, and I actually have an office (*with a door!*), I got quite a kick out of it…
I hope this improves your Monday morning.
August 6, 2006
Beer Advocacy
Hanging out with my buddy in North Carolina this weekend, I took the time to make a run to the grocery store to pick up some beers that aren’t distributed down here in Georgia. I still have no idea why a state with such messed up blue laws as North Carolina, where you have to buy hard alcohol from a state-owned liquor store, has a much wider beer selection than Georgia. It’s like Georgia repels craft beer… But that’s another story.
My buddy’s girlfriend is a beer drinker… Or, considering she drinks Coors Light, she’s more of a beer-flavored water drinker. So I thought I might try to widen her palate. I picked up a six-pack of Victory Prima Pils, a bottle of Samuel Smith’s Pure Brewed Lager, and some Victory HopDevil IPA. Some quite excellent beers, well-representing their respective styles.
So Saturday afternoon, she decides to try the pilsner. She said she liked it, but when she was done, she poured herself a Coors Light instead of having another one. So I’m not sure how that went over. Then a little later, she tried the HopDevil. Of course, I wasn’t sure that she’d like such an agressive style, but she said it was great. It didn’t take long for her to get her fill, though. I think she showed her true verdict on the beer when she poured 2/3 of it into a bowl and fed it to the dog. Really, if you’re not going to drink it, I’ll finish it for you. No need to feed a beer rated as “outstanding” by beeradvocate.com to a dog. Ugh.
Who knows, though? Maybe I’ve opened her horizons a little bit. I left the Samuel Smith’s in their fridge when I left today, and that’s a non-aggressive style, so it might go over a little better. And if nothing else, I tried. Teaching macro drinkers about the wider world of beer is a hit-or-miss sort of thing, and I think this one just might be wide right…
August 5, 2006
Reincarnation
I was struck with a thought today. Hindus believe that we are reincarnated, and our souls traverse human and animal form based on how virtuous or “deserving” we are, right? Humans being the highest non-deity form.
And human population is increasing. Thus, we all must be continuously improving, right, or else we’d all be animals within a couple generations!
What about extinction of species? I don’t think I want to look at it as a negative anymore. Think about how many more people we can potentially have now that we don’t have to worry about the dodo birds allocating souls?
Of course, the Hindus could have it wrong, with humans being well down the chain, and we’re just a bunch of wicked former elephants…
August 4, 2006
Georgia Implementing the FairTax?
They might, if Rep. Steve Davis has his way:
As some of you may know that this past year I introduced the Georgia Fair Tax, HB 1667, on the last day of the session. I actually had the bill drafted prior to the session and was seeking a fiscal note, however I did not meet the deadline to submit tax legislation to the Department of Audits (freshmen learning). I still tried to get the fiscal note during the session but to no available, but introduced the bill anyway on the last day to open discussion during the off season.
Never the less, I had some time to review it and some time to research other aspects including the impact on the gas tax. I have made some minor changes to the bill and have submitted the bill to the Department of Audits, many months before the November deadline. You can view the new draft legislation here. I have received confirmation(view it here and here) of the request and they are preparing the analysis and fiscal note. I would like to point out this is a piece of draft legislation that will be adjusted during the legislative process and I encourage any and all recommendations from my constituents as well as my colleagues in the General Assembly.
Perhaps if it works extremely well here, the rest of the country may actually take notice. Georgia is already a job-friendly state due to the relatively low cost of living and educated population in the Atlanta area, and this will only help.
Hat Tip: Jason Pye
August 3, 2006
He Was Carrying the Nunchuks?
Police arrest man after nunchuks threat
A man was charged after police say he threatened a detective with nunchuks. McCory J. Slemmons, 26, of Davenport, was charged Wednesday with assault while displaying a dangerous weapon and public intoxication.
The detective was monitoring an area where officers were looking for a robbery suspect early Wednesday morning when Slemmons approached him and accused the detective of “looking at his wife,” court documents said.
Slemmons then challenged the detective to a fight and pulled out nunchuks, police records show.
Actually, this guy wanted me to be in his gang. I’m pretty good with a bo staff.
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Brad, Glad you are having fun with your beer making.
Comment by Lucy Stern — August 13, 2006 @ 10:05 pm