November 30, 2006
Why I Can’t Stand Christmas Music
Immediately following Thanksgiving, you see about three or four radio stations in every major market switch over to an all-Christmas, all-the-time format. And I’m damn sick of it. But only this year have I really asked why. First, I thought it might be the standard depression of the season, as the college football regular season has ended and we’ve got a good 4 weeks before any meaningful bowl games start. But there’s more than that.
I can sum it up in one word. Encomium.
And that right there is what Christmas music is. Every crooner, from the greats, to the has-beens, and the never-were’s have made a Christmas album. I heard a cover of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” on the radio today by Sixpence None the Richer. For every smooth, well-produced tune with a voice like Harry Connick Jr powering the lyrics, there are multiple failures. It’s the same tune sung by the Chipmunks. It might be some nobody who has put a mediocre vocal on top of some bad 80’s synthesizer melody and beats. Or it’s a “diva”, who is turning what should be a single note into a trembling, wavering journey through six different octaves. Heck, Weird Al Yankovic can make one hell of a polka, but I really never thought “O Tannenbaum” needed an accordion solo!
There’s a lot of great music, and a lot of crappy music in the world. Over time, most of the crappy music finds the dust bin of history. You don’t hear many radio stations playing a Rollins Band cover of Zeppelin these days. But bad Christmas music is eternal. I guess when you have to fill 24 hours a day, seven days a week, on multiple radio stations, you don’t want to only play the good stuff. But the bad stuff is enough to ruin it for me. You can keep your Chipmunks and your divas, I’ll tune in to the channels playing normal music.
UPDATE: I was talking to a customer at work today, and he put me on hold. I was treated to hold music consisting of Christmas music performed by barking dogs. I CAN’T ESCAPE IT!!!
Below The Beltway linked with What He Said
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[...] Brad Warbiany weighs in against those radio stations that will be playing non-stop Christmas music, most of it bad, from now until December 25th. Bookmark to: [link] [...]
I have been hearing Christmas music since before HALLOWEEN. No kidding. My abhorrence to it stems from the fact that I seem to keep hearing the same seven songs over and over again. One of my favorite songs is John Lennon’s Happy Christmas (War is Over), which has been covered by lots of crappy people (as well as a couple that are not so crappy…) like Celine Dion, Melissa Etheridge, American Idol’s Rebecca St. James, Maroon 5, and others. Why would you want to hear anyone else singing a classic? Why do they play “eazy listening” versions of Santana songs? Do we really need Oye Como Va on jazz flute?
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Yes, but GOOD christmas music is both eternal, and ecstatic, and ethereal, and exceptional among musical categories. Great christmas music is among the best music of any type.
I agree, the majority of christmas music is crap; but then the majority of ALL music is crap. I hereby invoke Sturgeons law.
The problem is, they compress all that crappy christmas music into two months a year; rather than spreading it out the whole year like other crappy music.
Brad, I happen to like the Chipmunks! I also like Donny Osmond singing, “Mary Did You Know”, The music from the Nut Cracker, the Hallaulah Chorus and many others. I agree that there is a great bit of bad Christmas music out there but If you had an Ipod, you could put only the music you liked and listen to that. Bonnie routinely makes up a CD of her favorites and puts it in her car. She also has her favorites on her Ipod……..Turn off those stations that only play Christmas music and listen to something else.