The Unrepentant Individual

...just hanging around until Dec 21, 2012

February 5, 2009

Schrödinger’s Baby

Some of you may know the story of Schrödinger’s Cat. From a quantum mechanics standpoint, it’s a story about indeterminacy. I.e. given a specific limited number of states under which we cannot know an outcome, the idea of whether the outcome really exists is not known — is the cat alive, dead, in both states, or neither? From a philosophical standpoint, it’s often used as a statement about the reliability of knowledge. I.e. from the standpoint of humanity, the cat is neither alive nor dead until the box is opened. (Note — I’m deliberately oversimplifying here).

But today, I apply it to a very specific issue…

Schrodinger's Baby

On the table is an envelope. Inside the envelope is a business card. On the business card is written whether the baby my wife is carrying is a boy or a girl. We haven’t opened the envelope — and won’t for a few more days.

So what is the sex of Baby W? From our point of view, there is no knowledge. So for at least a few more days, this is Schrödinger’s Baby.

The Unrepentant Individual linked with It’s A Boy!
Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 1:12 pm || Permalink || Comments (2) || Trackback URL || Categories: Baby, Humor, Personal Life, Science

September 12, 2008

Voting — Americans Do It Like We Eat

Over here, a YouTube clip of Craig Ferguson discusses the election. Most of his rant is spot-on (and hilarious), but he talks about American’s “duty” to vote. He goes a bit off line when he says that our American Democracy is about:

free people making free choices…

…in this case, to choose which candidate will make us less free, and how.

Americans vote like we eat. I don’t think freedom’s on that menu. It’s like going into Cracker Barrel trying to find health food, and having a choice between the country breakfast with ham, eggs, hash browns, or the flapjacks and bacon, smothered in syrup. One may be marginally better for you than the other, but neither are good*. They may both make you feel good for a short time, but the long-term effects are pretty well negative.

Read more of this entry… »

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 4:18 am || Permalink || Comments (2) || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, Libertarianism, Politics, YouTube

September 8, 2008

Question Of The Day

I know I’m not the first person to ask this, but it just struck me…

Did anyone on the TV sitcom Cheers have a Boston accent?

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 7:43 pm || Permalink || Comments (4) || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, Ponderings

September 2, 2008

Damn Paparazzi!

They just won’t leave me alone!

For more pictures from August and Wyatt’s first birthday, see here

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 11:56 am || Permalink || Comments (1) || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, Personal Life, Wyatt

July 28, 2008

The Problem With The Biblical Account Of Creation

So I was thinking about this the other day… There are the problems of geological vs. God time, etc. But one thing just occurred to me.

God created man in his image. He created all the animals, and the plants, and gave man dominion above them. Man was king, he was satisfied, and he was happy. But then God thought man was lonely, and on the same day he created Man, he created Woman.

Let me ask you a question…

What Man in his right mind, king of his castle, master of all before him on earth, would get lonely and need a mate within a day? I mean, sure, within a week (possibly a few months if God gave Man beer and football instead) Man might get horny, but a day?

So this God, who we’re supposed to believe is kind and loving, presents us with a creature that seduces us into a fall from grace with her feminine wiles, such wiles that continue to this day to get us men to do all sorts of crazy things to vie for their attention.

As for me, I could have done with the beer and football. That truly would have made the Garden of Eden paradise on Earth!

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 10:36 pm || Permalink || Comments (2) || Trackback URL || Categories: Beer, Humor, Ponderings, Religion

July 18, 2008

A Novel Way To Drum Up Business

Gas prices are rough on all of us, and some businesses have picked up on that. Some businesses, ones that I thought were fairly recession-proof, are having to offer perks to entice business to their perky wares:

At the Shady Lady Ranch brothel in Beatty, Nevada, clients who spend $300 or more this month will receive $50 gas vouchers as part of a promotion to beat the summer slump in business.

“It’s rocking along. We’re doing quite well. June and July historically are not big months,” said James Davis, who co-owns the ranch with his wife, Bobbi.

The first $1,000 in gas cards were given out within a week, he added.

Good luck, Shady Lady Ranch. I would hate to see your employees filling up the unemployment lines!

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 10:42 am || Permalink || Comments Off || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, News

July 8, 2008

Fear Of Boogieman Implies Hatred Of Jazz, Too…

Sometimes a story comes along, and it just needs to be passed along without comment. This one needs no added comedy.

Claim: Kids who say ‘yuck’ may be racist

LONDON, July 7 (UPI) — Toddlers who say “yuck” when given flavorful foreign food may be exhibiting racist behavior, a British government-sponsored organization says.

The London-based National Children’s Bureau released a 366-page guide counseling adults on recognizing racist behavior in young children, The Telegraph reported Monday.

The guide, titled Young Children and Racial Justice, warns adults that babies must also be included in the effort to eliminate racism because they have the ability to “recognize different people in their lives.”

The bureau says to be aware of children who “react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying ‘yuck’.”

“Racist incidents among children in early years settings tend to be around name-calling, casual thoughtless comments and peer group relationships,” the guide says.

Staff members are advised not to ignore racist actions and to condemn them when they occur.

But don’t worry, I’m sure that any child with these racist anti-social tendencies will be cured once he gets enrolled in a government indoctrination center public school.

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 8:10 am || Permalink || Comments (1) || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, News, Snark

June 30, 2008

10 Reasons To Support Getting High Before You Fly

From that bastion of objective news, The CW:

SAFER, Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation, which got a ballot initiative passed to make enforcing marijuana laws the lowest legal priority in Denver, is now pushing to allow passengers to get high before they fly. But since the FAA oversees the airport and smoking pot is against federal laws, the idea has some people scratching their heads wondering how it would work.

SAFER members aren’t mapping out the legal landmines. Instead, they just say that the smoking lounge, outside of security at Denver International Airport, falls under Denver Police jurisdiction. And since the new city ordinance was enacted, all penalties for adult marijuana possession have been removed. So they think adults should be allowed to smoke either marijuana or cigarettes in the airport’s smoking lounge.

So why should you support this?

10. It’s the mile-high city. Duh!
9. It makes the jerk in the seat next to you for 5 hours much funnier.
8. Letting a drunk out of his window seat three times during a flight to pee is annoying.
7. Flying 500 mph at 35,000 feet in a steel tube is just plain trippy, man… Whoa.
6. It’s probably easier to get weed through security than liquor.
5. The event of a “water landing” is a great cure for cottonmouth.
4. Pilots fly better stoned than drunk.
3. No sober person wants to watch “Snow Dogs.”
2. Because it’s natural, dude. It’s from the earth…

And the reason that it might actually happen?

1. The airlines will find it a lot easier to sell a bag of Doritos for $5 if passengers have the munchies!

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 1:36 pm || Permalink || Comments (2) || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, News, Travel

June 24, 2008

George Carlin, RIP

As a comedy buff (my XM radio is regularly set to channel 150), yesterday’s news of George Carlin’s passing was not a happy day. Carlin had a knack for taking ordinary parts of life and simply looking from them from an outside perspective, only to show how absurd and funny we all are.

It’s only fitting, then, to post one of his later bits, about our response to the death of friends and family.

Thank you, George. You will be missed.

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 8:18 pm || Permalink || Comments Off || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, Media, Pop Culture, YouTube

May 6, 2008

Apparently, I Don’t Exist

I found a site to check the commonality of names, and apparently, I don’t exist!
Logo There are
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Even worse, it finds that there are zero people with the last name Warbiany in the US!

Does this mean I can stop paying my taxes, since I don’t live here?

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 7:52 am || Permalink || Comments (4) || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, Taxes

May 5, 2008

Cute Little Devil, Huh?

Wyatt is not short on personality. He’s quite a fun little kid, but he’s also inherited a strong will from Joanna and I.

Tonight, somehow he decided that sleeping just wasn’t in the cards. The normal routine is dinner, a little playtime, a bath and then sleep. Tonight we had a nice dinner out (and he got some nice minestrone soup), bathtime went well, and then sleeptime just didn’t happen. He wouldn’t settle down. Eventually we just had to set him in his crib and let him get to sleep on his own.

Well, after a bit of crying, he finally settled down. And I went in to check on him. This is the sleeping baby I found…


Daddy’s been known to fall asleep in positions like that, but that was mostly in college, and alcohol was involved. Wyatt must have just been a bit overtired!

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 9:41 pm || Permalink || Comments (1) || Trackback URL || Categories: Baby, Humor

March 3, 2008

A Horrifying Realization

Last weekend, my wife and her parents were out looking at new rentals, since we’re bursting at the seams of our apartment. My mother-in-law is a realtor, so she had access to all the listings available in the MLS system. We ended up finding an absolutely beautiful condo for rent, close to my work. Even better, the lady who owns it isn’t looking to move out until late April or early May, which works perfectly for us, as we’re locked into our apartment lease until the end of April. Even better, our apartment company is looking to raise our rent, and we currently rent our appliances, so while our total rent will go up in the new place, it’s going to be a much better deal for us, and a much nicer place.

We finished up our rental search, and my wife wanted to take her parents to a new church we were looking at. It’s one of those mega-churches, similar to the church we attended in Georgia, where they offer things like child care, etc. Given that we’d never been there, we weren’t about to hand Wyatt over to a caretaker, so my wife and her mother went into the main auditorium, while Wyatt, my father-in-law, and I stayed out in the foyer (where they had speakers/monitors showing what occurred).

That’s when it started to get interesting.

I’m a hands-on father, so I don’t run away from taking care of the messier portions (although I’ll gladly pawn it off on others when I can!) of child-rearing. Thus, when I saw Wyatt get “the look” on his face, and heard him start making grunting noises, I realized #2 was coming. I knew it was either my father-in-law or I that would have to take care of it, and diaper duty isn’t Grandpa’s job*. So it was me.

I took Wyatt into the bathroom, got the changing table all set up, and got ready to get to work. The changing table was obviously uncomfortable, and they had speakers in the bathroom area (they were still playing music) and Wyatt was not at all happy. He’s screaming, and I’m rifling through the diaper bag looking for a diaper. I can’t find any. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I nearly tried prayer!

Knowing that I had to get the job done, I ended up getting him cleaned up (thankfully we had plenty of wipes), wrapped a burp cloth around him, got him clothed, and went back to find my father-in-law. I let him know “We’ve got a problem”. We were about to leave and check the car for more diapers (or even to head to the store), when we thought of the nursery area. We found our way down there, they gave us a couple diapers to get through the crisis, and we ended up with little more than something to complain to the wives about when they emerged at the end of the service.

But that’s one crisis I could have done without!

* I guess there are some advantages to being a Grandpa… You get lots of this:


And I’m the one who gets to clean this up!


Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 12:46 pm || Permalink || Comments (3) || Trackback URL || Categories: Baby, Humor, Personal Life

January 16, 2008

She’s No Mechanic, Folks!

My wife, despite past experience, drives a European automobile. It’s nearing the end of its warranty, so it’s getting about time to sell it. In fact, the check-engine light went on a few days ago, so we were planning on taking it in for service.

Well, I was at a homebrew club meeting last night, and my wife was on her way back home from her parents’ house. She called me to inform me that the temperature gauge was going up!

Not a good thing. We had her last POS Euro car overheat on us driving from Vegas to LA one year (strangely, just after the warranty expired), and it cost us a horrendous amount of money. So when I heard the car was overheating, I was a bit concerned.

Then she told me it had stabilized, and it only went up while she was accelerating. Given that it was stable, I told her to keep an eye on it, and if she saw it rise, to open the windows and crank the heat. It was a bit chilly, so she could probably have gotten away with that without getting too uncomfortable.

For the rest of the homebrew meeting, I was a bit worried, but I didn’t hear from her again. So I called her when I left to tell her I was on my way home, and check on it.

Me: “How’s the car?”

Wife: “It’s okay, it actually wasn’t a problem.”

Me: “Really? How so?”

Wife: “I think I was looking at the wrong thing.”

Then it hit me… I know how the dash is aligned, and put two and two together (it only occurred when she was accelerating)…

Me: “You were looking at the tachometer, weren’t you?”

Wife: “Uhh, yeah… I probably shouldn’t tell you about these things, huh?”

And I laughed so hard I’m surprised I didn’t run off the side of the road…

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 10:00 pm || Permalink || Comments (1) || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, Personal Life, Technology

January 7, 2008

Quote Of The Day

I was listening to an interview with Emo Philips, a rather bizarre comedian… He was asked if, as a comedian, he enjoyed being on the road a lot:

“I do enjoy being on the road. Of course, I don’t have a wife and kids, so I don’t get the full benefit of it.”

Given that I am on the road a fair amount in my new job, I busted right out laughing when I heard that one!

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 2:47 pm || Permalink || Comments Off || Trackback URL || Categories: Humor, Snark

November 29, 2007


Dublin thief makes off with 180 Guinness kegs

A thief made off with 180 kegs of Guinness beer after smoothly driving into the Dublin brewery, which makes the black stout and snatching a trailer load of drink, police said Thursday.

“A man drove into the yard in a truck and took a trailer containing the drink which has an estimated value of 64,000 euros ($94,770),” a police spokesman said.

He drove “smoothly” in…

…and swerved his way out!

Posted By: Brad Warbiany @ 2:17 pm || Permalink || Comments (1) || Trackback URL || Categories: Beer, Humor, News

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